Today was a bad day. I’ve not cried like I have today since—oh, I can’t remember. Maybe never. In a heated discussion, I learned what someone whom I once considered a friend really thought of me. All these years, we’ve been having easy conversations about my cat(s) and such other frivolous matters, yet beneath it all…
I’m glad I didn’t know their true feelings before. But then again, had I known, I may have invested less in the relationship and spared myself today’s pain and that of the past few months. And who knows what I’d have done in retaliation? Thank God for keeping from us certain knowledge! Fact remains I didn’t know, and three months ago, I would have thought anyone insane who said as much. Funny. I was described as being insane today.
I am by no means totally blameless in the whole matter. God has been working on me recently—suddenly I couldn’t escape messages on forgiveness, self-righteousness and pride—and after today, I have even more to work on and to repent of. If it was hard 24 hours ago, I don’t know about now. I’m thankful I have a Father who specialises in transforming lives. The last thing I want is to become bitter and to bring division between our mutual friends.
I hope that one day, I’ll be able to look back on this and see what good it brought about in my life. And by God’s grace, good will come of this. I don’t know when and I certainly don’t see how, but I cling to two truths: God is good, and He loves me.